Food is an integral part of Korean culture. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that Koreans are obsessed with food. The topic of food is so important in Korea that a foreigner may be overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of Korea’s food enthusiasm. One might even say that a day in Korea consists of the work and play done when one is not eating. There are a plethora of food shows on Korean national TV, with broadcasts occurring almost every day of the week. Therefore, in order to understand how to eat like a Korean, one must first understand the importance of food in Korea.
Be Respectful Even When You Eat
Respect is considered one of the pillars of Korean tradition. It should come as no surprise then, if respect plays a key role even when dining. It is customary for the most senior person to enter the dining establishment first, as they must act the position of a leader leading their subordinates. When you dine at a restaurant or a Korean’s home, always wait until your host(s) asks you to take a seat. Seating positions are usually determined by seniority: the more senior people sit at the “best” seats or positions, usually at the head of a table. If your host is much older than you, always attempt to avoid sitting at the head of the table unless directly asked to sit at said position. Usually, the people at the table will not sit down unless the most senior person (either in age or rank) has taken his or her seat first. On the occasional instance when a known more senior person enters the room or restaurant while everyone is already seated, it is common to see everyone briefly stand to acknowledge and greet the senior newcomer.
It is common for the host or most senior person to choose dishes for the entire group, although it is considered appropriate to politely ask to select one’s own menu, especially if one has allergies or is averse to a certain dish for personal or religious reasons. Koreans bond when they eat and drink together, and this can be seen by how most dishes and side-dishes are shared by everyone at the table. It is rare to have your own plate, and the only things you can safely consider “your own” is your bowl of rice, eating utensils, and cup. Everything else is communally shared by all.
Once the food arrives, always wait until the eldest picks up his or her chopsticks or spoon and begins to eat. You are allowed to reach in front of others to get at a particularly tantalizing side-dish and it is okay to ask a neighbor to pass you something you cannot reach yourself. During the meal, feel free to leave your chopsticks and spoon near your rice bowl but remember to never stick your chopsticks or spoon inside your rice bowl, as this would resemble an ancestral memorial ritual.
It is not uncommon for the host to offer a particular dish or side-dish for you to try, as this displays their polite interest in you. If you feel you cannot eat the offered dish, it is okay to politely decline. Usually, the host will ask you if you would like to have some more or order another dish when the meal is about halfway in. This is considered polite table manners for the host. It is normal for the guest to politely decline when the host makes the initial offer. However, if the host really wants you to take him or her up on the offer, he or she will usually offer a second and even third time. Once the host makes the second offer, it is okay to graciously accept the offer. It is considered rude to accept the first offer because the first offer may just be an attempt at being polite. You would not want to burden your host by accepting an offer they made only out of politeness.
It is important to remember to never blow your nose or cough at the table as this is considered very bad table manners. If you must blow your nose, you may either politely excuse yourself to the bathroom or at the very least turn away from your host to relieve your nose or cough. Also, in Korea the custom of tipping in restaurants is almost nonexistent, so you do not have to feel obliged to tip the staff.
Who Pays the Bill?
Finally, when the meal is over and the bill must be paid, your host will usually try to pay for the entire bill. Korean relationships are built by one party paying for the entire bill for the meal and even for the whole day, and for the receiving party to reciprocate by paying for all the bills at the next meeting. This give and take principle allows at least one party to always have something to look forward to when meeting friends and acquaintances because they would be getting treated. So when your host attempts to pay for the bill, this is his or her way of telling you that this meal or evening is on them, and that the next time you meet, you can become the host and pay for the bill.
However, it is important to remember to at least offer to pay for the bill once, as this is considered being polite even as one is getting treated. Your host will most likely decline, but the act itself of asking to pay for the bill is considered proper etiquette. In Korea, while you may be treated to a meal once in a while, remember that these meals are not completely “free” but serve as investments into relationships. Once you have the basics of Korean dining etiquette down, you will be able to enjoy meals in Korea in no time!
Looking to dine with Korean friends? Read about casual (informal) dining etiquette in Korea.
Also, check out how Koreans view the concept of respect.
