While Korean formal dining etiquette may be very strict and straightforward, casual dining etiquette among Korean friends and acquaintances is usually more flexible and less structured. It is rare to find Koreans eating alone at a restaurant, although it is becoming increasingly more common among the youth. As most Korean relationships are built over time over food and drink, it should not be surprising to know that most meals eaten outside the home is done with friends and acquaintances.
While in Korea, it is perfectly possible for a new Korean friend to invite you to a meal. Koreans usually invite friends to meals by saying “gat-chi mug-euro ga-ja” (let’s go eat together). This invitation usually means that your friend would like to get to know you better and wants to solidify the acquaintance into a friendship. Once you agree to have a meal together at a certain time and place, make sure you show up on time, although it is acceptable if you run a little late, as long as you inform your friend of your expected lateness beforehand. While many Koreans may come off as quick-tempered and impatient to the casual foreign observer, your Korean friend will understand your being late as long as you give a valid reason for coming late. In fact, a good tip to remember is that a sincere apology goes a long way in Korean friendships and will almost always defuse any possible tensions that may have formed in a relationship.
If it is the case that you were invited by a friend, he or she will most likely ask you if you would care to dine at a particular restaurant. Your friend may also ask you what kind of food you would like to eat. If you feel you cannot stomach the food at a proposed restaurant, it is perfectly fine to inform your friend before entering the venue. Once you have decided to eat at a particular restaurant, it is considered polite to show some enthusiasm for the upcoming meal. It is a particularly good idea to show enthusiasm once you have ordered the food and are waiting to be served. Saying things like “I can’t wait to eat this!” and “This looks so good!” are appropriate expressions to use.
Who Should Order?
Once you have decided on a restaurant, the next thing to decide is the menu. If you are dining at a Korean restaurant where you do not know any of the items on the menu, and more importantly, if the restaurant requires bulk orders (minimum of 2-3 servings), it is a good idea to let your Korean friend order for you. Most likely, your friend will first inquire if you would like to try a certain dish. However, if on the uncommon chance your friend orders the meal without even consulting you, it is acceptable to inquire as to what was ordered, and to inform your friend that you cannot eat a particular dish for whatever reasons. The rule of thumb for these occasions is that you should make known your tastes and particular foods you avoid before it is time to order the meal. This helps prevent any possible embarrassment for both yourself and your friend.
To Use or Not to Use? (Chopsticks)
If you are dining at a Korean restaurant, you will be presented with the dilemma of chopsticks. Most Korean restaurants employ steel spoons and chopsticks as eating utensils, although many also offer forks and knives for foreigners that need them. If you are not familiar with chopsticks and would like to use a fork and knife, kindly inform your friend, and your friend will ask the wait staff for a pair. However, if you are feeling adventurous, it is perfectly fine to experiment with chopsticks and to ask your friend for guidance. Most Koreans would be happy to see a foreigner attempting to use chopsticks.
In Korean restaurants, it is customary to be served several side-dishes, such as kimchi, along with the main dish. The side-dishes will usually be served first, and it is common to see people take a few bites of the side-dishes while awaiting the main dish. This is a good time to practice using your chopsticks. The side-dishes and main dish are usually shared by everyone at the table, so keep that in mind if you are averse to sharing food that is on the same plate. Koreans think of sharing food as a way of bonding with others, so if you require a separate plate to keep to yourself, make sure you ask in a polite way.
Talking During the Meal
Traditional Korean meals used to occur with no conversations taking place. However, nowadays it is the norm for people to enjoy conversations over a meal. In modern Korea, it is considered good etiquette if you compliment the food being eaten, and also to eat while making loud, slurping noises, especially if eating something spicy or hot (particularly if one is eating soup or noodles). So please don’t feel shy about making a few noises when eating. Also, it is common for people to talk while chewing on food. The only thing you should not do is to blow your nose at the table.
Going Dutch vs. Treating
Among the youth, it is common to split the bill but the older generations still prefer the Korean method of treating one time and being treated the next time. Being a highly congested country, once you are finished with your meal, it is expected that you pay the bill and leave the restaurant (to make room for the next customer). If your friend insists on paying for the entire bill, make sure to offer to split the bill at least once. Usually if one party pays for the entire bill for a meal, the other party is expected to pay the bill at the next location, whether that be a drinking establishment or entertainment venue, or even the next time the two people meet for a meal.
Read more on formal Korean dining etiquette and customs.
Learn about the Korean concept of respect before heading to Korea.
